


sometimes love is not enough

by cissamione



Category: Coronation Street
Genre: Angst, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, LGBT, saula - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-06 06:54:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16827424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cissamione/pseuds/cissamione
Summary: Paula finds Sophie crying in the courthouse after Sally's guilty verdict.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from Lana Del Rey's Born to Die - 'Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough, I don't know why'
> 
> Canon-compliant until just after the trial.  
> Enjoy! (if you can, it's not exactly happy)

Paula was leaving the courthouse after Sally’s trial. Sally’s family had already left, while Paula had farewelled them, promising an appeal, and returned inside to sort out paperwork. She was stopped in her tracks by a quiet sobbing coming from around the corner. Paula turned away from the door and walked over, stopping when she saw Sophie sitting against the wall, knees tucked up and crying into her arms. The young woman hadn’t seen Paula yet, so she knew she had a chance to get away unnoticed. It wasn’t that Paula didn’t want to help Sophie, comfort her, but she knew that if she got involved again, she would never extricate herself, she had fallen so hard for the young restaurant manager.

Every bone in Paula’s body was pulling her towards Sophie, while her every cell in her brain was reminding her why she should walk away. Before she even realised what she was doing, Paula was walking down the corridor towards the crying woman. “Sophie.” SHe said gently as she neared, and Sophie looked up startled.

“Paula.” She said, her voice hitching on her name. They locked eyes for a long moment, Sophie’s full of pain, and Paula’s full of empathy.

“Are you alright?” Paula asked softly, immediately berating herself for such a stupid question. She was crying alone in a courthouse hallway, for God’s sake!

Sophie blinked, then scrambled to her feet. “I-” She clamped her jaw shut and rushed past Paula, who took off after her.

“Sophie! Sophie, wait!” Paula called out after the younger woman’s fleeing back, and Paula cursed herself for wearing heels. “Sophie!”

Sophie finally stopped when she reached the edge of the footpath, next to the busy main road at rush hour. “Why?  _ You _ broke up with me, Paula. I’m not your problem anymore!”

Paula sighed as she reached Sophie, slightly out of breath. She might have to take up squash again. “You’re not anyone’s problem, Sophie. Please. At least let me drive you home?”

“Why do you care? Just go. Leave me alone.” Sophie said viciously, turning to stride off.

Paula grabbed her arm before she could leave, spinning her around so they were face to face. “I don’t know why I care, Sophie, but I can’t turn it off like a light.” Paula said, her voice low with emotion. “And I am not letting you go in this state. I’m taking you home, come on.” Paula began to march Sophie in the direction of her car, when she seemed to deflate, and followed Paula meekly.

“Please don’t take me home, Paula. Anywhere but there. Please.” Sophie asked quietly, barely above a whisper, and Paula only just heard her.

Paula looked at her, surprised. “Your dad, and Tim, and Gina will be worried. So will Faye and Jack.”

“No, they won't. I’m the reason Jack doesn’t have a foot, I’m the reason Mum’s in jail. It’s all my fault, and they all blame me. Sometimes I catch Dad looking at me, and its as if he wishes it were me instead of his precious boy, or he wishes I weren’t his daughter, so he could come right out with it and tell me what he thinks. Tim and Gina think that if we hadn’t…” Sophie paused for a moment, not knowing how to describe the relationship she had had with Paula. “If we hadn’t, then Mum wouldn’t have had her bail remanded, then she wouldn’t’ve lost the case. I can see it in their eyes, Paula, when they look at me. I fuck everything up. Even you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I fucked it up, and you’ve broken up with me.”

As they stopped the car, Paula stopped Sophie and looked her in the eye. “I can’t speak for your dad, or Tim, or Gina, but I highly doubt that they all blame you as much as you think they do. They love you. And us, Sophie, the circumstances were so extreme, so unusual, and I don’t think either of us really knew how to handle that.” Paula took a deep breath, then broke eye contact, rustling in her handbag for her keys. “But not is not the time or the place for that discussion, however much we both need to have it. I’m taking you back to your dad’s.” Paula unlocked the car and opened the passenger door for Sophie, trying not to remember the times they had sat together in the car, holding hands, chatting, singing along to the radio. Happy.

Sophie craned her neck to meet Paula’s eyes. “Please, I’ll go to a motel. Please just not home tonight. I can’t.”

“Sophie.” Paula said exasperatedly as Sophie remained on the footpath, not getting into the car. “I can’t, in good conscience, leave you on your own like this. If you refuse to let me take you home, you’ll have to stay at my place and I  _ will _ drop you home in the morning. You can have Isla’s room, it’s made up.”

“Thank you.” Sophie said faintly with a ghost of a smile at Paula as she slipped into the car and allowed Paula to close the door.

The drive to Paula’s house was long and quiet. Neither woman said a word, nor did they switch the radio on. Paula could see that Sophie was drowsy, emotionally exhausted, and when she pulled int to her driveway, Sophie followed her into the house and up to Isla’s room in silence. “You can borrow some of her pyjamas, in the top drawer, and help yourself to food if you get hungry, you know where everything is. Would you like dinner before you sleep?”

“No, thanks.” Sophie said and Paula left her too it, closing the door behind herself. She spent the evening with a bottle of wine and some trashy television, trying to take her mind off of the sad young woman upstairs. It was nearly ten when Paula finally took herself upstairs and got ready for bed. She flopped against her pillows with a sigh and picked up her book, to read a couple of chapters.

After a while, Paula began to hear sounds coming from Isla’s room, and she got up to investigate, padding down the hall in her soft flannel pyjamas and socks. She opened the bedroom door a little, and saw, in the light from the hallway, Sophie tossing and turning in her sleep, mumbling and occasionally whimpering little sobs. Paula watched, waiting for the nightmare to subside, but after twenty minutes, when the young brunette was sobbing in her sleep, Paula had had enough. She tiptoed to the edge of the bed and knelt down, placing a hand on Sophie’s shoulder and shaking her gently. “Sophie, wake up. It’s just a bad dream.” She whispered, then again, louder. “Sophie, love, it’s a bad dream, wake up.” The brunette didn’t wake up, though her movement stilled, she kept crying as she reached for Paula in her sleep. Paula slipped onto the bed next to her, staying above the covers, wrapping Sophie in her arms as the other woman’s sobs quietened and she settled into a more peaceful sleep.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the response to this fic, and 'fast enough so we can fly away'. It's been so encouraging!

The bed creaked, unused to the weight of two people, as Sophie shifted closer to Paula. In her half-awake state, she didn’t question the other woman’s presence next to her, instead she lay her arm over Paula’s stomach and tucked her head into her neck, inhaling the scent that was uniquely Paula as she fell back asleep.

***

When Paula woke up, she glanced at the clock and saw it was nearly nine. She began to slowly extricate herself from Sophie’s hold, careful not to wake the sleeping brunette, and tiptoed to the open door, where she paused for a second, taking in the peacefulness on Sophie’s face with a tender smile, then leaving, swinging the door shut gently.

Paula was sitting in the kitchen, drinking a coffee and replying to a couple of emails when Sophie walked in and lingered by the doorway. “Good morning, Sophie. Would you like a coffee?” Paula asked, setting her phone face down on the bench, clearly indicating that all her attention was on Sophie.

“Yes, please.” Sophie said, and Paula waved her towards one of the stools along the edge of the bench. “I’m… I’m sorry about how I was yesterday.”

“It’s okay, Soph. You were understandably upset, and I’m afraid I didn’t do anything to help that. Toast?” Paula replied, sliding a coffee over to Sophie and pulling out a bag of bread. In hindsight, she did see that going to Speed Daal just before court wasn’t a wise choice.

Sophie nodded, twisting the hem of her pyjama shirt between her fingers. “Do you still…” Sophie let the words hang, not quite knowing how to finish the sentence and Paula sighed and turned around.

“I do care for you, Sophie, I really do, but I have spent my life, and sacrificed so much to build up my career and what you did nearly ended it all. I know she’s your mum, but I can’t be the collateral damage of your decisions. I can’t risk that, I’m sorry.” Paula heard the toaster ping, but she ignored it.

Sophie looked down at her coffee. “I understand. I won’t apologise again, but I understand that you have to put your career above us, me.”

“No, Sophie,” Paula said, frowning slightly, “on the contrary. The issue is that if you pull something like that again, I am concerned that I might do something stupid, and jeopardise my career, for you. I don’t think you quite realise how much I have fallen for you. It’s self-preservation, Sophie, because what I feel for you scares me, and I have never felt like this before, not even with Isla’s dad.” Paula blinked hard twice, and turned around to sort out the toast. “I think I made you feel as if what happened was entirely your fault, and it absolutely wasn’t. I think I was giving myself a way out, an excuse to end thing between us before I got too deep, but it’s too late for that now.”

“But it was my fault. You trusted me with information, and I told mum to make herself ill.” Sophie said, confused. Everything Paula had just said was swirling around in her head.

Paula handed Sophie a plate of toast. “I should never have told you that and put you in that position. I blurred the lines between personal and professional, I forgot that you were Sally’s daughter as well as my partner, and I didn’t think that my telling you what I did about adjournments could lead to your actions. I would never usually give a client’s family that much information, precisely to prevent someone doing what you did, which only makes sense. And I am sorry, I accept now that It was as much my fault as it was yours, and I’m truly sorry.”

“Paula...” Sophie said softly. “I know I should have talked to you, asked for your input. I’m just so scared of fucking up. It seems like everything I do ruins someone’s life, and you’re so… so brilliant, I didn’t want to do that to you, and I so nearly did.”

“You don’t ruin people’s lives, you couldn’t. Remember, the first time we met, and I told you how strong, and brave you are?” Paula waited for Sophie to nod. “I think you need to be brave and strong, and talk to someone about how you feel. Perhaps someone at your church?”

Sophie sighed, her blue eyes not meeting Paula’s brown. “I’m talking to you, aren’t I?”

Paula reached across the bench for Sophie’s hand, and took it gently. “I mean someone who can help you, someone impartial. Please, Sophie.” Paula waited for Sophie to nod slowly.

“Maybe Pastor James…” Sophie said hesitantly, and Paula squeezed her hand in encouragement. Sophie leaned across the counter slowly, and Paula found herself meeting the brunette midway, their lips tumbling together in a tender, passionate kiss. When they pulled apart, Paula pulled her hand away from Sophie’s, stepping back to lean against the cooktop.

“Sophie…  _ Sophie _ . I can’t.” Paula groaned, running her hands through her hair.

It only took Sophie a few seconds to round the bench and take Paula’s hands in her own. “I know you’re scared, I am too, believe me. But please, Paula, let’s not be scared. Let’s be brave together. We can make this work. Please. Give me…  _ us _ another chance.”

“Oh, Sophie.” Paula tilted her head and smiled sadly. “Isn’t it too late for that? Everything we’ve said and done to each other. Maybe we just aren’t meant to be.”

“Paula, you said yourself that you’ve never felt like this before, not five minutes ago. And I haven’t either. We’ll never know unless we try, and isn’t it worth trying?” Sophie lifted one hand to Paula’s cheek, her thumb whispering along the brunette’s cheekbone.

Paula lifted her hand to Sophie’s wrist, pulling it to her lips and placing a gentle kiss on her pulse point. “Sometimes just love isn’t enough, Soph. Sometimes you need so much more than that.”

“Love is the cornerstone of a relationship though, Paula. Without love, there would be no relationship, and everything else can be built upon the foundation that love provides.” Sophie said softly, watching Paula’s conflicted eyes. “I know that you head and your heart are telling you different things, trust your heart. I trusted mine and it led me to you.”

“You’re very wise for your years.” Paula whispered as she slowly moved closer, eventually kissing Sophie delicately. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Paula. This time, I promise I will talk to you more. We can make this work.” Sophie repeated as she pulled Paula into a hug.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This feels like a good place to finish this story, so thanks for all the amazing comments and everything, it's been wonderful!

It was nearly lunch time when Paula and Sophie dragged themselves out of Paula’s bed, with the lawyer insisting that Sophie had to go home and talk to her family, rathering than letting her feelings stew. Sophie had changed into some of Isla’s clothes that she had left behind, with Paula’s insistence that Isla would never know or mind that Sophie had helped herself to her wardrobe.

The drive back to Coronation St was mostly quiet. Paula let Sophie take control of the radio, and they held hands the entire way as Sophie danced in her seat to her favourite songs. Paula squeezed Sophie’s hand tightly as she pulled up outside number 13. “Remember, Soph, your family love you, no matter what.”

“Yeah.” Sophie murmured. “Come in with me?”

“Sure, love.” Paula said as she pulled Sophie in for a kiss. They got out of the car quickly and rejoined their hands, ignoring the penetrating stares from Leanne and Toyah.

Sophie opened the front door, pulling Paula in behind her, and Paula couldn’t help but remember the last time they had been in this house, when Sally and Kevin had walked in on them. Since then, they had made a point of not getting intimate at Sophie’s houses. “Dad!” Sophie called out, and Kevin popped his head out of the kitchen, and seeing Sophie, he nearly ran to her.

“Soph! I were worried sick! Where’ve you been?” Kevin grabbed Sophie’s shoulders and hugged her tightly before stepping back, and leading them over to the couch, his eyes lingering on their joined hands.

“I’m fine, Dad. I was at Paula’s.” Sophie answered with a roll of her eyes.

Paula frowned slightly and leaned forwards. “I thought you knew she was with me.”

“No, I thought you two had split up. You back together then?” Kevin asked suspiciously.

“Yeah, Dad, we are.” Sophie said, casting a fond look at Paula, who has stilling frowning at Kevin.

“Sorry, but you left her at the courthouse. I found her crying, on her own.” Paula pushed. She didn’t understand how Kevin could leave Sophie in that state, then proclaim to be concerned for her whereabouts.

Kevin shook his head. “I had to fetch Jack from school. Sophie was supposed to get a ride with Tim and Gina. What do you mean, you thought I knew where she was?” He asked warily.

Paula shook her head angrily. “I called number 4 last night, I knew you’d all be there. I told Tim that Soph was with me for the night, and I asked him to let you know, but clearly he didn’t.”

“I was there with Jack, but Tim didn’t say anything.” Kevin turned to Sophie. “Why didn’t you come home with Tim and Gina, Soph?

Paula felt Sophie’s grip on her hand tighten, so she slipped Sophie’s hand from her left to her right, holding them in her lap and rapping her heft arm around Sophie’s shoulder. “He told me that Mum being found guilty was my fault, mine and Paula’s, and he refused to let me come with him. He told Gina she’d have to come with him, or get a taxi, and she don’t have the money for a taxi that far.”

“It’s not your fault, Sophie!” Kevin interjected firmly as soon as his daughter stopped talking. “Not yours either, Paula. It’s just what happened, and we’ll do something about it.”

“I’ll get the appeal process started on Monday. We’ll do all we can.” Paula assured them both, her voice slipping into it’s professional tone.

The old couch creaked as Sophie turned to look Paula in the eyes. “Thanks, babe.” She kissed her gently, and Paula dropped another kiss on her forehead as Sophie rested her head on her shoulder.

“So Tim left you there, and didn’t tell us where you were?” Kevin clarified, and Paula and Sophie both nodded. “RIght, I’m gonna be having word with him. Kevin stood up and began to walk away.

“Kevin, wait!” Paula called after him, and when he didn’t stop, she and Sophie gave chase. “Kevin!”

Kevin turned around, scowling. “If he thinks he can abandon my daughter like that, he’s got another thing coming.”

Paula nodded. “I understand, believe me, I do. But getting into a fight isn’t the right way to solve this. Just promise you won’t hurt each other or make a scene. You lot need to stick together now.”

“Alright.” Kevin said gruffly as he marched across the street to number 4 and banged on the door. Gina opened it, and seeing Kevin’s face, flanked by and angry Paula, and Sophie, she slinked back without a word, allowing them through. “Tim!”

“What?” Tim yelled from the kitchen. “No need to go hollering about!”

“There is bloody need, actually!” Kevin shouted in reply. “How dare you say those things to my daughter, and leave her there, upset and on her own! You’re supposed to be family, now you’re married to our Sally. What would she say if she were here, eh?”

“She isn’t here, Kev, in case you hadn’t noticed! Thank to your daughter and her bit on the side! Now everyone knows my wife cheated on me, and she’s in jail to boot!” Tim yelled back, stepping up into Kevin’s personal space as they squared off.

Gina shook her head a little. “She would never cheat on you, Tim.” Sophie said, briefly looking to Paula for support, who smiled encouragingly at her partner. “She loves you more than anything.”

Tim just scoffed, and Paula rolled her eyes harder than any teenager could. “It’s plain as day, Tim. And, for the record, the verdict isn’t Sophie’s fault or mine. It’s no-one’s _fault_ , it’s just the result of bad circumstances. We’ll be working on the appeal by Monday.”

“If you and her hadn’t been shagging every chance God gave you, Sal wouldn’t have got her bail remanded, and you wouldn’t have been distracted enough to let her go on like she did in court!” Tim argued back.

Paula sighed deeply and pulled Sophie over to the couch to sit down. “Sally didn’t do herself any favours, but Sophie and I are both adults, and what we do in our private live is our business.”

“Oi!” Tim objected. “You lot can get out of my house, now, thanks! You’re not welcome anymore!”

Kevin scowled and marched out, and Sophie and Paula were about to leave when fay appeared on the stairs. “Dad? What’s going on?”

“Nothing, Faye. Go back upstairs.” Tim said sharply, and behind him, Sophie offered her stepsister a soft smile that held a promise of a text later. Faye said nothing but stomped back to her room and slammed the door.

“Pull yourself together, Tim. I’ll be talking to you all on Monday to discuss the appeal, and I won’t be having any of this attitude.” Paula glanced at Tim and she and Sophie left the house, closing the door behind themselves. “Love, it’s not our fault, okay? He’s upset. Angry and irrational and looking for someone to blame.” Paula reassured Sophie wrapping her arm around her waist as the crossed the street after Kevin.

“Yeah, I know, babe. Just ignore him.” Sophie said, leaning into Paula’s embrace. “Love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.” Paula replied softly, and Sophie smiled.

“I like that.”

“What?”

“Sweetheart.”

“Alright… sweetheart.”

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos and comments, and tell me what else you would like to see me write! Encouragement is this writer's food!


End file.
